Reviews From The Crypt: Microwave Massacre




Today we take a look at the 1983 cult classic Microwave Massacre, which received the “Arrow” treatment in 2016.



by Adam Holtzapfel



Once labeled the worst horror movie ever made, Microwave Massacre follows construction worker Donald played by Jackie Vernon (yes kids it’s the guy that does the voice of Frosty the Snowman) as he goes about his daily life with his wife May (Claire Ginsberg), co workers Roosevelt (Loren Schein) and Philip (Al Troupe).



May is obsessed with cooking her cuisine (pronounced q-suine) in the new microwave, while Donald just wants a bologna and cheese sandwich. After an “accident” Donald learns he loves the microwave too and has a special type of cuisine he likes to make. What’s the secret to Donald’s cuisine? You’ll have to watch it to find out. Clocking in at just under 80 minutes, this is a perfect blend of horror and comedy.




We see Donald looking for his next meal.



What works for this film is the dialogue (cheesy jokes about sex, crabs, and more), the acting definitely gives this cult classic status, the fact you hear Jackie Vernon spout lines like “I’m so hungry I could eat a whore”, and a blink and you miss it cameo by who viewers thought was Paul Reubens aka Pee Wee Herman, but according to the bonus features and credits is Joel Hurwit. We’ll let you be the judge if it’s an uncanny resemblance or not.



If you’re into movies like Psychos In Love, this would be a perfect flick to make for a double feature and a perfect addition to your collection if you’re into 80’s B Movies.



(Images taken from Google)